If i come over, it means nothing
Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
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