we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
