last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize