Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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