ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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