just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
