I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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