do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
The Olympian is in my bed
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