If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
