oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
