My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
