So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
