You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
