We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
His nipple licking is glorious
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