I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
