Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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