I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
