Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
please come you make the beer taste better
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
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