she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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