what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Randomize
