Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
