sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
