why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
