Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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