You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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