I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Randomize
