How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
