you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
