is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Randomize
