When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
