so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
