I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
