There is no way he is gay with that hair.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
