Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
