On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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