Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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