I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
