just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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