I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize