guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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