I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
