I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
