o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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