Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Randomize