he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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