We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Randomize
