I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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