dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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