I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Randomize
