so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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