Jerry, you need to find god
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
