I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
two words: eviction party
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
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