my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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