2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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