When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
