I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
she told me i tasted like america
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
