i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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