HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize