He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
